Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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