32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize