if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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