if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
