Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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