I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
oh god was she eating orange peels again
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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