My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
