I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize