wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize