is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Do vagina's smell?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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