it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
