they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize