For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
