Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
