Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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