I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
sarcasm needs its own font
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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