Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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