I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
