last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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