I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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