Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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