I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
