i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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