We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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