ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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