last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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