Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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