Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
