I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
