I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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