if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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