A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
