So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
