So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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