check it out our google latitudes are spooning
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
