I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
