okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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