he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
