i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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