new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
