Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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