i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
