last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
