So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
