I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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