According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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