WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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