Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
