At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
