So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I think a kid would responsible me up
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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