is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
