what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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