i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize