Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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