There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
