I just cut my nipple shaving
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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