I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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