real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
40s are totally the cure
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
