oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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