Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
i think im in europe. pls send help
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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