Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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