38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
