i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
