how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
