she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
