I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
