dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
