Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
