when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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