Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Randomize
