Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
