dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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