I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
